Are you Addicted
New additions added as I recieve
them
Candy Bar
2-12-98
Sent in by "linda8" <[email protected]>okay you have to fess up
on what you picked I was the Hershey bar. Hmm ... :-)
IF YOU WERE BUYING CANDY AND YOU HAD YOUR CHOICE OF THE FOLLOWING WHICH WOULD YOU CHOOSE?
BABY RUTH
3 MUSKETEERS
BUTTER FINGERS
SNICKERS
HERSHEY'S
OK - NOW THAT WE HAVE YOUR CHOICE, THIS IS WHAT RESEARCH SAYS ABOUT YOU!!!
BABY RUTH - Sweet, loving, cuddly.
You love all warm fuzzy items. A little
nutty. Sometimes you need a little
treat like an ice cream cone at the end
of the day.
3 MUSKETEERS - You are adventurous,
love new ideas, are a champion of
underdogs and a slayer of dragons.
When tempers flare up, you whip
out your sabre.
BUTTER FINGERS - Smooth articulate,
you are an excellent after-dinner speaker
and a good teacher. But don't try to
walk and chew gum at the same time.
SNICKERS - Fun-loving, sassy, humor-
ous. Everyone enjoys being around you.
But you are a practical joker - others
should be cautious in shaking hands!
HERSHEY'S - Romantic, warm, loving.
You care about other people and can be
counted on in a pinch. You tend to
melt and get gushy if held too close.
1-26-98
Sent in by Terry Plaisance <[email protected]> I'm not even a
coffee drinker and I thought this was funny....hahahahahaha!!!
You May Be Drinking Too Much Coffee When:
- You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked
- You speed walk in your sleep.
- You answer the door before people knock.
- Juan Valdez has named his donkey after you.
- You have a bumper sticker that reads: Coffee drinkers are
good in the sack.
- You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.
- You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
- You just completed another sweater and you don't know how
to knit.
- You sleep with your eyes open.
- You have to watch videos in fast-forward.
- The only time you're standing still is during an earthquake.
- You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away
without using the timer.
- You lick your coffee pot clean.
- You spend your vacations visiting "Maxwell House"
- You're the employee of the month at the local coffee house
and you don't even work there.
- You've worn out your third pair of tennis shoes this week.
- Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
- You chew on other people's fingernails.
- Cocaine is a downer.
- The Nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.
- All your kids are named "Joe"
- Your only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet & Low"
- You buy 1/2 and 1/2 by the barrel.
- Your so jittery that people use your hands to blend their margaritas.
- You can type sixty words per minute with your feet.
- You can jump-start your car without cables.
- You've worn out the handle on your favorite mug.
- You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.
- You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.
- You don't need a hammer to pound in nails.
- You don't sweat, you percolate.
- You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize
it's not plugged in.
- Charles Manson thinks you need to calm down.
- You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.
- Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.
- Instant coffee takes too long.
- People get dizzy just watching you.
- When you find a penny, you say, "Find a penny, pick it up.
sixty-three more, I'll have a cup."
- The Taster's Choice couple want to adopt you.
- Your taste buds are so numb you could drink your lava lamp.
- You're so wired, you pick up AM radio.
- People can test their batteries in your ears.
- Your life's goal is to amount to a hill of beans.
- You channel surf faster without a remote.
- When someone asks, "How are you?", you say, "Good to the
last drop."
- You want to be cremated just so you can spend eternity in
a coffee can.
- Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil.
- You'd be willing to spend time in a Turkish prison.
- You go to sleep just so you can wake up and smell the coffee.
- You're offended when people use the word "brew" to mean beer.
- You named your cats "Cream" and "Sugar".
- Your lips are permanently stuck in the sipping position.
- You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
- You think being called a "drip" is a compliment.
- Your 3 favorite things in life are: coffee before, coffee
during and coffee after.
- You can't even remember your second cup.
- You help your dog chase it's tail.
- You get drunk just so you can sober up.
- You speak perfect Arabic without ever taking a lesson.
- Your Thermos is on wheels.
- You soak your dentures in coffee overnight.
- You introduce your spouse as your "CoffeeMate".
- Your first-aid kit contains 2 pints of coffee with an
I-V hookup.
- You can outlast the Energizer bunny.
- You short out motion detectors.
- You have a conniption over spilled milk.
- You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.
- Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.
- You don't tan, you roast.
- You don't get mad, you get steamed.
- Your coffee mug is insured by Lloyds of London.
- You think CPR stands for "Coffee Provides Resuscitation."